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Benji's Attitudes Towards Coming of Age

    Throughout Sag Harbor, we see Benji striving to grow up at the same pace as his peers but at the same time, he always seems to be trying to hold onto his past. From the first chapter, it's clear that Benji outwardly aspires to reinvent himself as "Ben", a cool and confident kid who's up to date with trends. However, he also seems like he's just a kid at his core, insisting on riding his too-small bicycle and sticking to other old traditions. His relationship with Reggie also reflects his "kid at heart" perspective since at the beginning, he still sticks to Reggie somewhat but separates from him as he matures and learns throughout the summer. The way he sticks to tradition and doesn't stray outside of his comfort zone at this point makes me think he doesn't actually seem ready to grow up.

    Sag Harbor itself may be part of the reason why Benji finds it hard to make bolder moves to come of age. He sees Sag as the setting of many childhood memories and traditions, and consequently gets stuck shifting to a more mature perspective regarding these ideas. In this sense, I think his friends are the ones who free him from this trap of childlike thinking since they're all trying to grow up as well, and Benji is dragged into joining them. Even though Benji often feels behind on new trends, his friends keep him updated on them and they similarly keep him updated on coming of age.

    A turning point in Benji's coming of age journey is his encounter with his sister in front of the restaurant. After reflecting on his sister's words, he seems to become both outwardly and inwardly more motivated to mature. Outwardly, he's motivated to mature for social reasons, and inwardly, he becomes motivated to mature in order to start separating from his family. During the conversation with Elena itself, Benji doesn't seem completely willing to give in to this inward aspect of maturing since he's in denial about his family's problems, but upon reflecting on it later, he starts to accept the reality of Elena's words. At the end of the novel when Benji is in his old room, he seems to be reflecting on his past one last time to prepare to leave it behind for good. By this point, Benji seems much more ready to grow up and has started expressing much deeper thoughts and questions such as "Isn't it funny? The way the mind works?". He also becomes more bold and comfortable socially, as evidenced by the kissing and Labor Day scenes especially in that he doesn't care as much about how others perceive him. Even though it's unclear whether any of these scenes really did happen, the way Benji narrates and thinks illustrates a greater level of maturity.


Comments

  1. MitchellMay 27, 2021 at 10:04 AM

    Elena's words offer an interesting twist on our assumptions reading this whole novel: its core premise, implicitly, is that these kinds of aimless summer-day experiences in this unique community where Benji is more free to "branch out" and explore/forge his own identity are foundational to his coming-of-age in some way. But Elena reframes the novel's implicit premise: Sag Harbor and everything that comes with it (i.e. childhood itself, the family, the home) is something to *outgrow* and to *escape*. In this view, Benji is only stuck in his parents' house trying to avoid a "flare-up" because of his age and period of life--as soon as he can, he should walk away and find his own "tribe." There's a kind of coming-of-age ideal implied in returning to Sag with a German boyfriend and not even considering stopping by the family home--Sag now means something different for Elena, and she's left all these old friendships behind. She presses Benji on the abusive family dynamics ("you know what I'm talking about"), and in fact we see him start to put this view into action when his parents are fighting, and he walks out of the house, closes the door, and realizes that no one can hear them anyway. He walks away (and runs into Melanie and that whole thing) and doesn't look back (except that he ends up at a house that is really a memory and he "looks back" there, but he importantly leaves his house *in the present* behind and sets out on his own).

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  2. EssraaMay 27, 2021 at 1:31 PM

    I agree and find that the encounter with his sister helps him realize that he has the capability to change himself and is motivated to become more like his sister in a sense. I found that to be an interesting part of the plot.

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